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Shitpost (TV series)/Shitpost Seashell Party
Shitpost Seashell Party is the 14th episode of the third season of Shitpost. Sypnosis When the power goes out, the gang decides to get lit in the basement. Basically Seahorse Seashell Party, but better. Transcript (Open with a view of the living room of the mancave. Everyone can be seen doing at least something, sans PUPPYCORN, who isn't present.) UNIKITTY: (concerned) Hey, has anyone seen Puppycorn? (Upon hearing this, FINK shakes her head.) FINK: I haven't seen him anywhere. Maybe he's still asleep. UNIKITTY: That can't be true. It's 7 PM. He never sleeps this late. FINK: (confused) If we didn't hear from him, nor see him all day, then where could be possibly be? UNIKITTY: I don't know, my little rat buddy... this sure is a head-scratcher, isn't it, Fink? (UNIKITTY smiles and winks at FINK. Upon winking, a star can be seen coming out of UNIKITTY'S eye.) (Off-screen, the sound of a door bursting open can be heard. UNIKITTY, FINK and everyone else in the room are startled by this.) (CUT TO: PUPPYCORN after bursting the doors to the living room open. His arms are raised in either direction and he has a big mouth-open smile on his face.) PUPPYCORN: (enthusiastic) WHAT'S UP, MY HOMIES?! (An airhorn sound effect blasts violently in the background after PUPPYCORN says that.) UNIKITTY: (relieved) Puppycorn! Where were you? PUPPYCORN: (proudly) I was doing my taxes! AKIKO: Epic! What shall we do now? PUPPYCORN: I was thinking we cou- (PUPPYCORN is cut off by the flickering of the lights.) PUPPYCORN: (concerned) Hey, did the lights just flicker? UNIKITTY: Yeah, but I'm sure they're fine. (The lights flicker again, and while this happens, FINK, for this scene only, is in terribly rendered CGI, clipping through the floor doing a T-Pose. The scene continues as if nothing happened.) UNIKITTY: Okay, now this is getting concerning. (The lights turn off, leaving the characters in darkness.) FINK: (upset) Guys, the power's out! MASTER FROWN: (upset) Well, fuck. ANSI: Oh god, has someone checked on the kids?! KO: NOW what can we do!? UNIKITTY: We can have a slumber party downstairs in the basement! KO: Isn't the basement haunted? UNIKITTY: Does it really matter? Let's go! (SWIPE TRANSITION TO: Everyone sitting on pillows, which are situated to face a 63" flatscreen television, except for MASTER FROWN. It cuts to him looking under the floorboards in the storage room. He picks up a bag of unspecified hallucinogenic drugs. Without hesitation, he gulps a handful of the stuff down his throat, and walks into the basement as if nothing happened.) UNIKITTY: (holding a bunch of DVDs) Does anyone want to watch some movies? PUPPYCORN: Do you have "The LEGO Movie" in there? (PUPPYCORN looks directly at the camera and winks. The fourth wall can be heard shattering afterwards.) UNIKITTY: Let's see... (sifting through the movie pile) A-ha! There it is! (she picks up a DVD copy of The LEGO Movie and places it in the DVD player.) PUPPYCORN: (excited) This is gonna be SO epic! (Moment of silence) PUPPYCORN: But wait, how is the TV remaining intact when the power's out?! UNIKITTY: Bro, this is Shitpost. Anything is possible. (UNIKITTY looks directly at the camera and winks. The fourth wall can be heard shattering once more.) UNIKITTY: (shocked) Woah, did we just break the fourth wall? PUPPYCORN: Ssshhh... no questions! The movie's starting! (CUT TO: A time card with a simple black background. It says "45 MINUTES LATER" in Comic Sans, and it stays on screen for a good 5 seconds.) DR. FOX: This is boring. UNIKITTY: (annoyed) Stop being Legomoviephobic, Dr. Fox. (DR. FOX facepalms, and MASTER FROWN rolls his eyes.) MASTER FROWN: Is anyone else here suffering from weakness, blurred vision, dry mouth, dilated pupils, tingling fingers or toes, erratic behavior, mood swings, or paranoia? (Suddenly, the vision goes blurry around MASTER FROWN as he hallucinates. UNIKITTY poofs and turns into Mari Ohara from Love Live! Sunshine!!, and PUPPYCORN poofs and turns into Hanamaru Kunakida, also from Love Live! Sunshine!!. Some spiders emerge from the ground and “DARE” by Gorillaz starts playing in the background. MASTER FROWN, “MARI,” “HANAMARU,” and the spiders begin dancing for a thirty-second long dance party sequence. HANAMARU walks up to MASTER FROWN and then slaps him, causing him to snap out of the hallucination. The spiders disappear, MARI turns back into UNIKITTY and HANAMARU turns back into PUPPYCORN.) (PUPPYCORN falls asleep. The Lego Movie is still playing on the TV.) UNIKITTY: How are we doing? (She looks behind her shoulder to see everyone asleep.) UNIKITTY: (annoyed) You people have no taste. (UNIKITTY takes the disc out of the DVD player.) UNIKITTY: (exasperated, monotone) Wake up, shitheads. (Everyone immediately wakes up.) PUPPYCORN: Okay, first of all, watch your language, there are children watching, and second of all, we weren't all asleep. If you couldn't tell, Ansi's been doing K-Pop dances in the back for the past 45 minutes. (CUT TO: ANSI doing the dance from Teen Top's "Rocking", as the song plays in the background. This goes on for 5 seconds.) PUPPYCORN: He's so good at those K-Pop dances, he even managed to master the most difficult ones known to man in under one hour. FINK: Even the dance from Chocolat's "Syndrome"? PUPPYCORN: You name it, he's mastered it. UNIKITTY: Sweet. HAWKODILE: Okay, so now what? (Dramatic zoom in onto UNIKITTY’S face. Various math equations are floating around. This goes on for 5 seconds.) (The scene expands to reveal FINK, who has a lit up light bulb above her head.) FINK: I got an idea! Let's marathon Big Mouth! PUPPYCORN and UNIKITTY: (In unision, prolonged) BIG MOOOOOUTH! MASTER FROWN: "Big Mouth"? Isn't that the show about the hormonal children? PUPPYCORN: Yeah. It's our favorite show. (PUPPYCORN and MASTER FROWN stare at eachother for 5 seconds.) PUPPYCORN: (enthusiastic) It's the best show EVER! It's so funny, I almost had a heart attack from laughing so much! MASTER FROWN: I saw a couple episodes a while ago, it isn't even that great. It's just gross. PUPPYCORN: (angrily) HOW DARE YOU! This show is my LIFELINE! It cured my depression and it brings me happiness! (PUPPYCORN and MASTER FROWN then begin to fight in Korean without subtitles for a solid thirty seconds.) (CUT TO: A golden yellow timecard with "1 HOUR LATER" in a teal Spongebob-esque font.) (CUT TO: The gang sitting through Big Mouth. UNIKITTY, FINK and PUPPYCORN are happily watching. Noticably, ANSI has several barf buckets next to him.) MASTER FROWN: (outraged) What in the unholy name of ASS is this fuckness? UNIKITTY: It's magical! MASTER FROWN: Ansi, do you mind handing me over one of those buckets? ANSI: (O.S.) Sure! (From off screen, ANSI throws an empty, grey metal bucket at MASTER FROWN.) (CUT TO: UNIKITTY watching in horror and disbelief as MASTER FROWN is heard barfing off screen.) PUPPYCORN: You know Sis, maybe we really shouldn't be watching this... UNIKITTY: Fine... (A doorbell ringing is heard.) MASTER FROWN: (enthusiastic) Oh, my weed's here! (MASTER FROWN zooms out of the scene.) (CUT TO: A green timecard with "2 MINUTES LATER" in white text.) (CUT TO: The gang sans UNIKITTY sitting around in a circle.) UNIKITTY: (O.S., yelling) PILLOW FIGHT! (PUPPYCORN is hit with a pillow.) (This eventually evolves into a full-on pillow fight. The beginning notes of "Take on Me" begin to play as a montage of the gang either getting hit by, or throwing pillows.) (The montage eventually stops.) UNIKITTY: (monotone) That sucked. (The TV begins to become distorted and it shows a static screen. The static screen appears for only 2 seconds, and HIMIKO and JUNKO appear afterwards.) HIMIKO: (enthusiastic, smiling) Hey guys! How's it goin'? ANSI: Hey, Himiko, can you uhhh... get lost? HIMIKO: Ansi, we've been over this. No matter how hard you try, you and your crew will never get rid of us as easily as your feeble minds may think. (JUNKO rams HIMIKO out of the scene so only her shoulder is present, almost knocking her down.) JUNKO: And I'm here too! HIMIKO: (O.S.) Get off me. JUNKO: Anyway, we hijacked your television set, not only because we're testing out our new hacking equipment, but also because we want to be involved in your fun party. Let us come! UNIKITTY: (thinking, trying to convince HIMIKO and JUNKO) Oh, jeez... all we're doing is watch Hawkodile do our taxes. You don't really wanna come. HIMIKO: I love watching people do their taxes! JUNKO: Shut up, Himiko. UNIKITTY: It's not like you'll show up here anyway. You never follow through with your plans. JUNKO: That's a load of shi--(cut off abruptly for a few seconds, then resumes)--Doesn't matter. See you around, losers. (The TV screen goes black.) FINK: So... that happened. HAWKODILE: I don't know about you, but I feel like doing taxes right now. UNIKITTY: Ooh, good idea! Anyone wanna do taxes? PUPPYCORN: Doing taxes? That's... (PUPPYCORN stays silent for 5 seconds as the camera slowly, but dramatically zooms in on his face.) PUPPYCORN: (enthusiastic, loudly enough to make the speakers crack a little bit) ...THAT'S SEXY-LICIOUS! KO: I thought taxation was theft. UNIKITTY: (surprised) Who in the name of ass told you that? KO: Dendy. UNIKITTY: Don't listen to her. (gives KO a death stare) (As UNIKITTY says that, DENDY silently backs away and hides near behind the nearby sofa.) (Suddenly, a knock on the door is heard.) PUPPYCORN: I'll get it! (PUPPYCORN goes upstairs and opens the door. HIMIKO and JUNKO are at the door.) (MASTER FROWN runs back in, holding bags of weed.) MASTER FROWN: Anyone want some weed? (CUT TO: PUPPYCORN at the door.) PUPPYCORN: (Imitating HAWKODILE) ''' Sup, bros? '''JUNKO: (looking at HIMIKO, exasperated) I can't believe we're missing Fat Dog Mendoza for this. HIMIKO: (looking at JUNKO) Just be happy we aren't missing the episode where Little Costumed Buddy does his taxes. PUPPYCORN: Oh, yeah, that's a really good episode. Anyway, can y'all get lost? You're ruining our night. JUNKO: We just got here, and you're asking us to leave?! (PUPPYCORN nods.) (CUT TO: The gang sans Puppycorn sitting on pillows staring at eachother as the Veggietales theme blares in the background.) AKIKO: I'm pretty sure this song plays on loop in hell. MASTER FROWN: It was way more fun there anyway. PUPPYCORN: (O.S.) Sup, bros?! (Another airhorn sound effect blasts violently in the background after PUPPYCORN says that.) UNIKITTY: Are they gone? (PUPPYCORN nods.) DR. FOX: I don't know about you, but I'm ascending into the next plane of existence right now. PUPPYCORN: Wow, what a big mood. UNIKITTY: Wanna continue watching Big Mouth? PUPPYCORN: I'm always down for Big Mouth. ANSI: Please, no. Please god no. UNIKITTY: Ansi, if you can't appreciate Big Mouth, you cannot live in this house! ANSI: It's a MANCAVE! UNIKITTY: I don't care. DEZ: I'm here too. (The power comes back on.) UNIKITTY: Welp, guess the power's back on. PUPPYCORN: Epic. UNIKITTY: I'll admit, we should do this at some point again soon. PUPPYCORN: That sounds... (PUPPYCORN stays silent for 5 seconds as the camera slowly, but dramatically zooms in on his face again.) PUPPYCORN: (enthusiastic, loudly enough to make the speakers crack a little bit) ...THAT SOUNDS SEXY-LICIOUS! UNIKITTY: (gives PUPPYCORN a death stare) I'm going to kill you if you say that again. Category:Shitpost Category:Stuff by PixelMiette